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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674021">Nobody Else But Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankenSpine/pseuds/FrankenSpine'>FrankenSpine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Once Upon a Time (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Absurd, Alternate Universe, Based on a Music Video, Disguise, Enemies to Lovers, Espionage, Evil Laughter, F/F, Happy Ending, Humor, One Shot, Rival Relationship, Tropes, no magic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:09:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674021</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankenSpine/pseuds/FrankenSpine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Swan, one of the top spies in her agency, is captured by her arch nemesis, the Evil Queen, but things soon take an unexpected turn.</p><p>*Based on the music video for 'Genghis Khan' by Miike Snow.*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>71</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nobody Else But Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>WHITE. The Worldwide Hub of Investigations, Telecommunications and Espionage. Its duty was to protect the world, and its agents were sworn to secrecy. Among WHITE’s top agents was the one known simply as ‘The Swan.’</p><p>On the other hand, there was the organization’s polar opposite: BLACK. The Brotherhood of Lucrative Arsonists, Criminals and Kingpins. Their leader was known as the Evil Queen, said to be the most ruthless woman in the world.</p><p>At long last, after years of playing their global game of cat-and-mouse, the Evil Queen had finally captured her longtime nemesis.</p><p>“It’s over, Swan!” the Queen declared, cackling as she brought her finger to the red button on her remote, “You’ll never escape my deadly laser!”</p><p>“Why a laser?” the Swan deadpanned.</p><p>This gave the Queen pause. “W-What?” she stammered.</p><p>“Why build a laser? Isn’t that a little over the top? Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, shoot me or something?”</p><p>The Queen narrowed her eyes. “Would you like me to shoot you?!” she snapped.</p><p>“Not particularly, but it’s not like your men haven’t shot me before.”</p><p>Just as the Evil Queen went to press the big red button, the laser malfunctioned, as did the metallic shackles holding the Swan in place. The Swan jumped up and roundhouse-kicked the remote from her brunette rival’s hand.</p><p>“Now it’s over,” she said confidently.</p><p>“NO!” cried the Queen, “Grab her!”</p><p>The Queen’s henchmen charged at the Swan, but she ducked, dodged and somersaulted her way past them. Needless to say, the Queen was livid.</p><p>“You incompetent fools! Seal all the doors! She won’t be getting away this time!”</p><p>The Swan bolted for the exit, her eyes growing wide as she saw the large titanium panel beginning to close. If she didn’t hurry, she’d be trapped inside! One of the henchmen jumped in her way, so she jumped down and slid on her stomach between the man’s legs, barely making it through before the panel closed.</p><p>The Queen was beyond furious. “OPEN THE DOORS!” she roared.</p><p>As her men scrambled to obey, they ended up breaking the control panel and the Queen let out a cry of fury.</p><p>“Damn you all!” she fumed as she lifted up her bazooka.</p><p>She blasted a giant hole through the titanium door and charged outside. She spotted the Swan climbing onto a roof where a helicopter was waiting and reloaded her bazooka. She only had one shot, and she couldn’t afford to miss. The helicopter took off and the Queen aimed at it carefully, and just as she was about to fire, one of her henchmen rushed up to her.</p><p>“Ma’am! We’ve got the doors operating again!”</p><p>This startled the Queen, who fired much too soon and completely missed the helicopter carrying her arch nemesis. She turned on the man and grabbed him by the throat, throwing him back through the hole in the door with her impossible strength. He stared at her with wide, fearful eyes, scrambling backwards on the floor as she stormed towards him.</p><p>“You made me miss my target!” she roared, “You absolute fool! And don’t you <em>ever</em> call me <em>ma’am</em> again! Do you understand me?!”</p><p>“Y-Yes ma’am! I mean—”</p><p>The Queen pulled the gun from her belt and put a bullet between the man’s eyes. “Get this filth out of my sight!” she ordered.</p><p><em>“Yes, Your Majesty,”</em> a pair of henchmen said in unison.</p><p>A hint of a smile tugged at the brunette’s lips. “That’s more like it.” Her smile fell as she turned away from the corpse and inspected the control panel. “So it’s working again, is it?” she asked.</p><p>“Yes, Your Majesty,” said the lead scientist, “I’m not sure what caused it to malfunction, but everything seems to be under control now.”</p><p>“Seems to be?” the Queen asked him, “Or are you one-hundred-percent certain that it <em>is?”</em></p><p>The scientist met her gaze with a stoic expression. “I’m certain, my Queen.”</p><p>The Queen simply nodded. “Good,” she said, stepping down into the observation area, “Bring up the tracker. I want to know <em>exactly</em> where she’s going.”</p><p>The image of a red dot stood out on the large computer screen, pinging as it got farther and farther away from their location.</p><p>“She’s heading east,” she noted, spinning around dramatically, “Ready the car! I’m going to follow her and end her myself!”</p><hr/><p>Emma Nolan walked into the restaurant in a pink dress and her hair done up, but she didn’t bother putting on makeup. The digital glamour she’d adorned was disguising her true face and voice, for fear that one of the Queen’s henchmen was nearby. One could never be too careful. She had a blind date tonight, with a woman by the name of Ramona Murphy, or so that was what she had been told.</p><p>She scanned the place for a woman holding a black rose, which she was also carrying, and found who she was looking for in the far corner, in a booth. She approached the brunette with a smile.</p><p>“Ramona?” she asked.</p><p>“Yes,” the brunette said with a lovely smile, “I take it you’re Emma?”</p><p>“That’s me.”</p><p>Emma took her seat across from Ramona and the two of them got along well as they talked over dinner.</p><p>“So what do you do for work?” Ramona asked her.</p><p>“I work on a fishing boat,” said Emma, “I hope that’s not too weird.”</p><p>“A fishing boat, you say? That’s not weird at all. Just, <em>interesting,”</em> said Ramona. She took a slow sip of her wine. “I myself am a computer programmer. Why, I programmed the very tracking device I injected into your bloodstream, Emma— or should I say, <em>Swan?”</em></p><p>Emma’s eyes narrowed. “You think I didn’t know about that, <em>Your Majesty?”</em> she mocked, “I work on a fishing boat, alright, and you’ve just taken the bait.”</p><p>Suddenly, all the other patrons turned, guns drawn, and aimed at the Queen’s head. Emma stood up and backed away, also aiming her gun at the brunette.</p><p>“Don’t move,” she ordered, “Not a muscle.”</p><p>One of Emma’s fellow spies, <em>Scarecrow,</em> went to handcuff the Queen, but before he had the chance, the brunette threw down a smoke bomb and left the entire room coughing their lungs out, including Emma. Emma became lightheaded and the room seemed to spin. She lost her balance and completely blacked out.</p><hr/><p>When she came to, Emma found herself bound to the same table as before, only this time she couldn’t even lift her head as it was strapped down as well. Still she looked around in a panic, realizing her digital glamour had been deactivated, and her heart skipped a beat when she heard the maniacal laughter of the Evil Queen.</p><p>“It was <em>you</em> who took the bait, <em>Emma Nolan.</em> For a top agent, you certainly are a fool, using your real name on a silly dating site.”</p><p>“So your name isn’t Ramona?”</p><p>Again, the Queen laughed. “Of course not! Why would I risk exposing my identity? Especially to the likes of you!” She came into Emma’s line of view and grinned wickedly. “My laser is no longer malfunctioning,” she said, “nor are the shackles holding you in place. You won’t be getting away this time, <em>Swan.”</em></p><p>Emma closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she prepared to meet her fate. “You may be right,” she whispered.</p><p>As the Queen studied Emma’s true face, it dawned on her in that moment just how beautiful the blonde really was. She frowned in confusion, unsure of where these sudden feelings had come from, and out of the blue, she was overcome with a sense of utter dread and remorse. She threw up her hand, signaling for her men to stop.</p><p>“Shut it off, Whale!” she shouted.</p><p>The head scientist gaped at her incredulously. <em>“What?!”</em></p><p>“I said <em>shut it off!”</em> the Queen barked.</p><p>Reluctantly, the head scientist did as he was told.</p><p>Emma blinked quickly, her eyes darting around swiftly in confusion until they met those of the Queen.</p><p>“What— why did you—”</p><p>“You were right,” the Queen said with a quiet sigh, “The laser <em>is</em> a bit over the top.”</p><p>Emma’s face fell. “Oh. So I guess you’re gonna shoot me after all, huh?”</p><p>The Queen pursed her lips. “Actually, no,” she said.</p><p>The Swan’s eyebrows shot up. <em>“What?”</em></p><p>“I’m not going to kill you, Swan,” said the Queen, “I don’t<em> want</em> to kill you. I mean, what would I ever do without you? What would the cat do without a mouse to chase? What would the dingo ever do without that pesky ostrich?”</p><p>“Um, you mean the coyote and the—”</p><p>The Queen waved her gloved hand dismissively. “Never mind that,” she said, “The point is, we <em>need</em> each other. You are my other half, Swan. I am Yin and you are Yang.”</p><p>Emma stared at the brunette with a look of wide-eyed wonder. “Is this really happening?” she muttered.</p><p>And several years later, she would ask the very same question as she stood face to face with the brunette at the courthouse.</p><p>
  <em>“Is this really happening?”</em>
</p><p>The Queen smiled. “Why yes, yes it is,” she murmured, <em>“Mrs. Regina Mills.”</em></p>
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